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When we look at the world of relationships there are many myths forming modern day perceptions of what a relationship should be like.


We have marriage, engagement, dating, relationships and friendships to put it in simplified boxes of comprehension. When it comes down to soul mates there are so many different views of what one is.

So let’s look at the origins of the term.

One theory of soul mates, presented by Aristophanes, in Plato’s symposium, states that humans were originally made of four arms, four legs and a head made up of two faces. Zeus, fearing humanity’s power, split them in half, thus condemning them to spend their lives looking for their other half.

 This is not far off the spiritual basis of soul mates and twin flames. A soul mate can be anybody you feel affinity with. It can be someone you knew in a past life or someone you feel you knew the moment you met them. This person can be male or female. Some have soul mate platonic friendships with no physical attraction.
Some believe that were fated to play certain roles in each other’s lives and others that soul mates or twin flames are meant to be together.

The challenges arise when the idea of it’s ‘meant to be’ comes in. This idea that somehow a relationship is destined and therefore no matter the challenges it will work out is what tends to unglue people from dealing with issues and challenges arising in their relationships. Sure, you maybe destined to meet but what you do with each other tends to lay in the free will box. Yeah, we've all heard of that, free agency! You do not have to stay with someone because you feel they’re your soul mate if the relationship becomes destructive with no way that both partners want to change. You will however have chances to work things out with your partner when you have a basis of love, affinity, harmony and attraction.

In my life, I’ve met many soul mates of mine. They’ve come in the form of friendships, relationships, dating partners and business partners. All have one thing in common, a sense I get of familiarity or knowing even when I’ve never met them before in this life.

A few years ago I organized a group workshop in my house, people were asked to bring food. I had been waiting for one particular participant to come whos’ voice I recognised from the first time we spoke on the phone. He arrived just as I was talking to a lady saying to her, where are you from, I’m sure I know you. She’d said I feel the same, but after tracing our entire lives we knew we’d never met before. As the man arrived he looked at me, walked straight into my kitchen and started to cook, everyone else had brought ready made food. This man and I started to speak and within minutes felt an overwhelming love, peace and ‘knowing’ and acknowledged it.

The lady, man and myself, never having met before, all became soul mate friends with a spiritual affinity beyond explanation.

One of the dangers of thinking whilst in a soul mate physical romantic relationship is that because it’s ‘meant to be’ it can be become overly intense or serious. Some of the fun can be taken out if you insist on ‘forever’ just because you feel ‘at home’ with your partner in the early days. There are some where we do feel just ‘fun’ and joy and naturally we want that to last forever, these I call ‘playmates’. They’re partners we date where the chemistry is fabulous and wild but not necessarily long lasting. However, they are valid, never a waste of time because they don’t last. The validity in this type of short lived playmate relationship is we get the unique input to PLAY. We remember that’s who we are, playful loving, exciting beings that relate in a fun way.

So many clients of mine believe a short lived fling or relationship is a waste of time, I say never. Some feel they waste their time if they are overly serious or suffering from a relationship that is going to end in an unhappy way. Even these teach us valuable lessons of who we are and how we relate to others, so again, never a waste of time.

This leads me onto stalemate relationships. Many have had an experience of that, where the relationship seems to get stuck in a pattern and very little pleasure. There are a number of reasons for that. You may find yourself waiting for your partner to change something in their lives, or simply waiting and hoping for change. These sorts of stale mate situations can be resolved IF both partners are equally willing to make the changes necessary to be together and communicate effectively with each other. What I call an irresolvable stalemate is normally when one partner does not want to communicate or put energy into the relationship. If this happens, and remains the same, invariably the relationship will end.

So, are you with one of your soul mates, playmates or in a stalemate? Remember, when asking or wishing for your partner to change, that can be one of the hardest things to do or acclimatize to. Changing old habits and patterns is all very well and good if YOU too are able to change your own behaviour.

We normally want our partners to change if we believe we’re right and they’re wrong, but that’s a whole other article! For now, wherever you are in the relationship area of your life, you can meet soul mates, at any age and can enjoy what you do have to the full. Enjoying your life even with its challenges is what magnetizes the right people at the right time to you. Your romantic compatible soul mate is normally a mirror of you. With Theta Healing you can learn to be happy with you, so your partner can be a celebration of love.
By Alexandra P. Brown (c) all rights reserved
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