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Did you know, statistically people tell an average of 1,000 lies per year to others? Seems like the amount of little white lies people tell themselves can be dangerous to their mental, emotional and physical health. Most people don’t even know they are lying.  It’s a method of denial that can help some feel better about themselves and their perception of the world. Whilst some may think that this reaction is harmless, look at the list below and check if these are some of the untruths you’ve been telling yourself.

Take a look at these top beliefs and lies.

My happiness is from outside events that I have no control over.  The belief that we have no control over our own happiness sets us on a path to upset and disappointment.  This is a belief that happiness only happens to a few ‘selected’ others. That somehow it’s fine for others but doesn’t work for you.

I did it and want it MY way.  Everyone must have goals or targets in life, but if the outcome of your goals is your main or only reason for happiness, you could be living with unreasonable expectation of yourself and others. Naturally, if you check in with the energy of all that is, there are often some better ways to achievements than just 'your way'.  Check to see if you are imposing  unreasonable expectations on yourself and other loved ones in your life.

Happiness is defined by my achievements.  Many people’s egos urge them to believe that their value and happiness is defined by external factors like work, achievements, targets.  This could be a raise at work, a sporting event or game, or winning an argument with a spouse, friend or lover.  Check to see if you are punishing yourself or others over having not yet achieved all you wish in life. 

To be loved, I must be agreeable to others. Some people find it really hard to say no. Others find it equally hard to say yes. You may have said no a few times, seen upset in people’s faces, and vowed to be a yes person.  The problem here is that this may result in you giving up your own life to enhance that of others. This can appear to be generous. In fact, there’s nothing wrong with being kind, loving and generous. The problems occur if you become resentful over what you have given.  They can also happen when you don’t know how to say no because of fear of what others may think.  You may have a fear that you are unlovable and unwanted if you displease someone else who has the above belief, ‘’ I did it and want it all MY way.’’ Equally, those who find it hard to say yes to friends, lovers or spouses may hold the same belief that it has to be done ‘their’ way always.

I must be approved and loved by others.  You may wish for the approval of others. It can become a painful obstacle if you build your life around satisfying others, and procrastinate, or forget about your own needs.  This can lead to one or all of the three R’s, resentment, rejection, regret.

If only I had time … Some people often tell themselves they don’t have time to do what they truly want to. There are 2 issues in that. This can be an excuse designed to give us an easy way out of our fears of failure or success. Two, if we are truly that busy, most likely you are giving attention to what is more important to you, but you may not have told yourself the truth in that. I remember being asked how I found time to make my own mayonnaise. During that time I was running my own business, home, relationship, travelling a lot, and teaching numerous courses.  I have time to do whatever I want to. You can make time for all, in order to have a full life. You may need to start changing some core beliefs.

A white lie never hurts.  This is one of the biggest lies of all because it creates upset. If you try to protect yourself from life by lying, you are wounding yourself.  Sometimes in life we must experience upset in order to know what true success, love, and happiness is,. If you find you have experienced too much disappointment, it’s time to change your belief system.  Start by knowing it’s alright to learn through joy now.  If you want to learn through joy, Theta Healing can help you.  Take a look at our session’s page to discover what subconscious beliefs are no longer serving you.

What are your favourite lies that people tell themselves… or should stop telling? You are welcome to fill in the comments form and share your experiences or questions.

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When we look at the world of relationships there are many myths forming modern day perceptions of what a relationship should be like.


We have marriage, engagement, dating, relationships and friendships to put it in simplified boxes of comprehension. When it comes down to soul mates there are so many different views of what one is.

So let’s look at the origins of the term.

One theory of soul mates, presented by Aristophanes, in Plato’s symposium, states that humans were originally made of four arms, four legs and a head made up of two faces. Zeus, fearing humanity’s power, split them in half, thus condemning them to spend their lives looking for their other half.

 This is not far off the spiritual basis of soul mates and twin flames. A soul mate can be anybody you feel affinity with. It can be someone you knew in a past life or someone you feel you knew the moment you met them. This person can be male or female. Some have soul mate platonic friendships with no physical attraction.
Some believe that were fated to play certain roles in each other’s lives and others that soul mates or twin flames are meant to be together.

The challenges arise when the idea of it’s ‘meant to be’ comes in. This idea that somehow a relationship is destined and therefore no matter the challenges it will work out is what tends to unglue people from dealing with issues and challenges arising in their relationships. Sure, you maybe destined to meet but what you do with each other tends to lay in the free will box. Yeah, we've all heard of that, free agency! You do not have to stay with someone because you feel they’re your soul mate if the relationship becomes destructive with no way that both partners want to change. You will however have chances to work things out with your partner when you have a basis of love, affinity, harmony and attraction.

In my life, I’ve met many soul mates of mine. They’ve come in the form of friendships, relationships, dating partners and business partners. All have one thing in common, a sense I get of familiarity or knowing even when I’ve never met them before in this life.

A few years ago I organized a group workshop in my house, people were asked to bring food. I had been waiting for one particular participant to come whos’ voice I recognised from the first time we spoke on the phone. He arrived just as I was talking to a lady saying to her, where are you from, I’m sure I know you. She’d said I feel the same, but after tracing our entire lives we knew we’d never met before. As the man arrived he looked at me, walked straight into my kitchen and started to cook, everyone else had brought ready made food. This man and I started to speak and within minutes felt an overwhelming love, peace and ‘knowing’ and acknowledged it.

The lady, man and myself, never having met before, all became soul mate friends with a spiritual affinity beyond explanation.

One of the dangers of thinking whilst in a soul mate physical romantic relationship is that because it’s ‘meant to be’ it can be become overly intense or serious. Some of the fun can be taken out if you insist on ‘forever’ just because you feel ‘at home’ with your partner in the early days. There are some where we do feel just ‘fun’ and joy and naturally we want that to last forever, these I call ‘playmates’. They’re partners we date where the chemistry is fabulous and wild but not necessarily long lasting. However, they are valid, never a waste of time because they don’t last. The validity in this type of short lived playmate relationship is we get the unique input to PLAY. We remember that’s who we are, playful loving, exciting beings that relate in a fun way.

So many clients of mine believe a short lived fling or relationship is a waste of time, I say never. Some feel they waste their time if they are overly serious or suffering from a relationship that is going to end in an unhappy way. Even these teach us valuable lessons of who we are and how we relate to others, so again, never a waste of time.

This leads me onto stalemate relationships. Many have had an experience of that, where the relationship seems to get stuck in a pattern and very little pleasure. There are a number of reasons for that. You may find yourself waiting for your partner to change something in their lives, or simply waiting and hoping for change. These sorts of stale mate situations can be resolved IF both partners are equally willing to make the changes necessary to be together and communicate effectively with each other. What I call an irresolvable stalemate is normally when one partner does not want to communicate or put energy into the relationship. If this happens, and remains the same, invariably the relationship will end.

So, are you with one of your soul mates, playmates or in a stalemate? Remember, when asking or wishing for your partner to change, that can be one of the hardest things to do or acclimatize to. Changing old habits and patterns is all very well and good if YOU too are able to change your own behaviour.

We normally want our partners to change if we believe we’re right and they’re wrong, but that’s a whole other article! For now, wherever you are in the relationship area of your life, you can meet soul mates, at any age and can enjoy what you do have to the full. Enjoying your life even with its challenges is what magnetizes the right people at the right time to you. Your romantic compatible soul mate is normally a mirror of you. With Theta Healing you can learn to be happy with you, so your partner can be a celebration of love.
By Alexandra P. Brown (c) all rights reserved
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