Lessons in Love, 9 tips to create alive, vibrant relationships.

I’ve learned a fair amount of lessons in love through my life and that of clients.
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This information could save you years of trying to figure things out for yourself. 

So here they are, in no particular order.

1. Don’t push yourself to love unconditionally.  Leave that to the energy/ creator of all that is. Download unconditional love till your system gets used to it. Let go of forcing yourself to always be unconditional. Figure out your bottom line, what you will or won’t accept. Set your boundaries, state them, make them clear to those you love.
2. Communicate your wishes in a relationship right from the start.  I’ve seen too many, including my past self, fumble their way through guessing what their partner wants. We’ve all done it thinking or feeling we just ‘know’ without asking. You could be in a relationship  where your partner does not have a real understanding of what you want or need to be happy in a relationship.
3. Appreciate the best in others. Learn how to appreciate the best in those you love and sure enough they’ll show you more of that!  It may sound simplistic but how we perceive another will amplify in them as they relate to us. Same as how we look at ourselves. 
4. Be your own best friend. Yeah, easier said than done but it IS doable. You want to treat others well and have them treat you that way too. When you manage to be your own best friend, others find it easier to be that towards you.
5. Give up looking for someone else to ‘complete you’.  It’s a nice romantic notion but it will interfere with your primary responsibility to yourself.  Not only that, it will cause your loved one to feel pressured and that could lead to covert resentment.
6. Stop projecting your mother/father onto your relationships and friendships. Some clients can find themselves disliking others who resemble the shadow or negative side of one or both of their parents. You’ll find that until that baggage is cleared up inside you, you’ll meet it in others. You’ll project it so intensely you won’t know the other person at all. You’ll just ‘think’ you know them. All your focus will be blinded by how you were treated in your past lives or in your family.
7. Fall out of Love with the drama and arguing. This maybe the most challenging lesson for some. Drama and arguing just lead to hurt, more drama and more arguing. Eventually this kind of behaviour can lead to complete indifference or worse.
8. Challenge yourself in your relationships.  So many relationships are comfort zone based. You know the kind right?  You fall into habits of what you both did in the past that felt nice.  Stretch yourself to do new things together and you’ll see a major increase in gratitude and appreciation and fresh energy coming into your relationship. You can also do this with friendships and work.
9. Don’t ruin your new relationship with your old relationship!  It’s another don’t project note. So often we look out for what went wrong in the past in our relationships to happen again in our new love connections. Difficulties arise when your new partner/friend feels they have to make up for someone else’s behaviour in your past.  New connections, fresh start, complete your past through belief work and meditation.

(c) Alexandra P Brown (all rights reserved)